The Catchy Comedy of "Retire and Return"

Picture this: A consultant, firmly perched atop their career ladder, spots the Retire and Return flyer. It gleams with promises of flexibility, meaningful work, and maybe even a taste of their long-forgotten hobbies. Tempting? Sure. But hold your horses, or in this case, your stethoscope.

Why the sudden generosity from an employer that spends its meetings debating over stapler budgets? Well, my friends, the scheme conveniently shifts staff from the 1995 pension plan—which, let’s be honest, is like the Rolls-Royce of pensions—into the more "cost-efficient" 2015 plan. A clever bit of fiscal manoeuvring.

And don’t forget payroll math! That top-tier consultant earning upwards of £180k( including on cost for 10 sessions), The NHS can trade them in for two shiny new consultants. It’s like upgrading your old car but opting for a two-for-one deal. Who doesn’t love a bargain? (Except, of course, the veteran consultant, who might feel more like they’ve been taken for a spin.)

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“Don’t Follow the Herd” 

Cue the Trust’s discretion—a euphemistic phrase that basically translates to "Let’s see what we can get away with in the negotiation room.” And the early pension draw? For some, it’s a psychological balm—a guarantee of tangible funds after years of pouring coffee money into the pension pot. But as you rightly note, not everyone’s final pension payout will make them the star of a financial fairy tale. 

So, before you leap onto that bandwagon, give it a good shake to see if the wheels are even attached. Assess your situation, negotiate like your next holiday depends on it, and avoid the herd mentality. After all, there’s nothing more tragic than realising you’ve joined a stampede heading straight for a cliff.